Ideas to remember your baby

Many of us who have lost our babies through miscarriage have no mementoes to hold onto and treasure and it can sometimes seem like our baby didn't exist outside our own bodies, hearts and minds. Sometimes we need something physical or tangible to cling on to. Many of us who have had early miscarriage will have no grave to visit, no baby things already purchased - clothes, toys - many may not even have an ultrasound scan picture.

Aside from the Remembrance Book or Remembrance Certificates you may like to have your own personal memories to have and to treasure. Some ways we can honour the memory of our baby could be by, keeping cards that people send following the loss of your baby; finding a nice poem or verse and framing it and put it on your wall; plant a flower or tree in your garden. If you don't have a garden how about a window box or a house-plant. Think ahead though if you are planting something in your garden in memory of your baby. Even for the most green-fingered among us some plants or trees will die, be prepared if this happens to try another one, perhaps get some advice from a garden-centre. Also think about what will happen in the future if you were to move house. Would you be prepared to leave that tree or plant behind or would it be possible to take it with you ?

You could plan a special day to honour your baby, whether that is for their anniversary, due date or any special days. Some people like to visit our Memorial Stone in Glasnevin Cemetery, others may plan a quiet day with their partner or close family in a special place to them - perhaps the seaside or in the country. You could light a candle, place flowers in the water of a running stream, release a balloon into the sky, whatever you feel would make it a special time to be quiet with the thoughts of your baby. Sometimes it’s nice to go into a church or a spiritual place, even if you aren't at all religious. You can sit there in the peace and serenity, away from the daily hustle and bustle, and be alone with your thoughts.

Some people like to buy a special piece of jewellery which they wear in remembrance of their baby, a bracelet, pendant or ring. There are sites on the internet where you can buy (fairly inexpensive) specially made pieces of jewellery with your baby's name engraved on them or with their birth stone. At Christmas time it's nice to place a special ornament or decoration on your tree for your baby.